


Back and Forth

by apologieslogan



Series: Logince Oneshots [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Crying, F/M, Fighting, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Threats of breaking up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 01:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14990309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apologieslogan/pseuds/apologieslogan
Summary: All heads snap towards Logan upon hearing the emotion in his voice. Logan is still looking directly at Roman, tears threatening to spill over in his eyes. Logan’s hands clench into fists on the tabletop, fingernails digging into his palms. He takes a deep breath.





	Back and Forth

Alone. This is how Roman woke up for the fourth day this week. He and Logan had been fighting at what felt like every waking hour and frankly, Roman has had it. He was tired of arguing with his beloved; but there were just so many conflicts that had made themselves known in these previous days. They used to only argue about the big things, like what they do and don’t want in this relationship. Now it feels like they argue just for the sake of arguing, and Roman is at his wits end. His heart breaks every time he sees a flash of hurt in Logan’s eyes at his words. His heart races every time he sees the fire, the passion, in Logan’s face, even though it is directed at him. Roman is tired of fighting with Logan. He makes a deal with himself to find the root of the problem and fix it. Today.

\--

Logan woke up with a heavy feeling in his chest, though he loathe to admit it. He always felt this way after he and Roman argued but didn’t make up. These past four days have been exhausting to Logan. Though he won’t admit it, he misses waking up in Roman’s arms, his chest moving against his back. Although Logan knew he missed his boyfriend, he also knew that he wasn’t the type to give in so easily; however childish that may sound. Roman always brings out the worst in him; Logan loves it. As Logan lays in bed, he wonders how this day will transpire. Has the storm passed, or will the torrential rain hit once again?

\--

The sides were all sat down in the commons, none of them speaking to each other, but enjoying each other’s company. Patton and Virgil were coloring one of those adult coloring books; Patton with one of those intricate and complicated patters, Virgil with an expletive in a weird font with an unrelated background. The two were brushing knees every now and again; always comforted by being able to feel that the other was there without having to take their focus away from the matter at hand. The two were always subtler in their affections, since Virgil wasn’t the type for PDA.

Logan was engrossed in another book- it felt like he burned through them so quickly that he would end up reading his entire library, yet he never did. His eyes were flying across the pages, scanning the words with an incredible speed. It was easy to tell if Logan was into a book- his hands gripped it with such fervor that his knuckles were white and he was on the edge of his seat with his shoulders hunched over- just like how he was now. Roman was watching the scene with a smile on his face. He was simply watching whatever movie was playing in the background, but it wasn’t particularly interesting, so his attention drifted among the others, settling on his boyfriend. Although the two were not on good terms, it didn’t stop Roman from finding Logan completely adorable in that moment. Roman wanted nothing more than to sit next to Logan and wrap him up in his arms while he watched Logan read, but he knew that with the current circumstances, that would not happen. He withheld a sigh as he turned his attention back to the TV.

\--

Roman flopped face-first in his bed that night. He had desperately tried all day to get a moment alone with Logan so that they could rekindle the happiness in their relationship, but it seemed that Logan was adamant on avoiding him all day. The most Roman got was about five seconds of eye contact accompanied with one word responses. He was at his wits end. Roman didn’t want to have a confrontation in front of the others, but if Logan refused to be alone with him, then he left him no choice. Roman had to prepare himself to make a scene tomorrow.

Logan sat at his desk, rubbing his eyes. He found himself irritated at both Roman and himself. He wanted to speak to Roman about the state of their relationship, but every time he thought about it, his stomach and heart twisted painfully. He knew he was magnifying and expecting the worst, but what if Roman wanted to end things between them? Logan couldn’t handle that. Even the thought of it had his eyes watering dangerously. And so, for the first time in his entire life, Logan had decided to do the immature thing, and ignore Roman. Logan knew he couldn’t keep this up forever. That’s what scared him the most.

\--

As the sides were sitting around eating lunch the next day, Roman decided that now was the optimal time to confront Logan. Nobody was speaking, and Roman feared that if he didn’t do it now he never would. With his heart pounding in his chest, Roman spoke.

“Hey, Logan?” Roman started from across the table. All the sides looked up. It isn’t like nobody else knew what was going on between the two. Roman and Logan both weren’t very good at using their inside voices. 

“Yes, Roman?” Logan responded, his palms already starting to feel moist.

“So- and I know this isn’t the smartest idea but you’ve been avoiding me so this is last resort- I’d like to try and find some peace with our relationship.” Roman word-vomited. Leave it to Logan to make Roman a mess.

Logan sat there, assessing the proposition. He knew that if he refused to speak with him here that the others were going to assume the worst of their relationship. However, if he agreed to have the conversation in front of the others, they would know more about their relationship than they needed to. On that same token, the others being present for their discussion could help to keep them both level, so they don’t make a fool out of themselves with the others present.

“If you wish, we can have this conversation here with the others. Perhaps they will be able to mediate and help us see issues that we cannot. Only if you two are comfortable with that, of course.” Logan said, directing his last statement to Virgil and Patton.

After a little bit of conversing, Patton and Virgil both agreed to sitting in. 

“So…” Roman started, “It’s obvious that we have been disagreeing a lot more than normal, my dear, and while I am aware that all couples argue, I can’t help but be concerned about how often we are doing it as of late.”

“I hardly think we are arguing an excessive amount.” Logan lied, trying his hardest to hide the tremor in his voice, “Before this… bout of arguing, we had gone a considerable amount of time just fine. Perhaps the arguments piled up instead of being evenly spread throughout the months. This is not to say that I am not put off by the arguing, however.”

Roman felt his pulse jump. He loved the way Logan was analytical about everything, but this was truly bothersome. 

“I’m aware of that, Logan, but it seems that there is a bigger underlying issue as to why we been arguing this entire week.” Roman said, his voice stilted.

“There doesn’t always have to be a bigger picture. We have an issue, we argue, we resolve the conflict. Done.” Logan said, trying so hard to deflect.

All three sides looked at Logan with a bewildered look on their face. 

“Logan. I hate to break it to you, buddy, but arguing is not the only way to solve issues.” Patton said, nervous laughter bubbling up in his voice. 

“Yeah, teach. That’s not fair to either of you.” Virgil drawled. “That just makes every argument worse and worse until you eventually feel like the only way to not argue is to break up.” Virgil slapped his hand over his mouth, not wanting to put the idea of breaking up into either of their heads. These idiots were head over heels, even if they didn’t know it. 

“I can’t believe that you don’t care about our arguments, Logan. I bet you just go to your room after we argue and start working like nothing happened. Like it doesn’t even matter!” Roman raved, voice getting louder as he got angrier.

“O-On the contrary,” Logan stuttered, his heart beat quickening. Was that moisture he felt in his eyes? “I do find myself quite troubled after one of our disagreements, but-” 

“Oh yeah, right, Logan. You probably just sit there, slightly miffed for like two seconds and then carry on with your day, reading your stupid books and talking about your stupid facts. You probably wouldn’t even care if we broke up, would you?” Roman finished, breathing heavily. 

Patton and Virgil looked on in horror. They had never seen Roman angry like that, and they had never seen anyone rip into Logan like that, calling his books and facts stupid. They all knew how much Logan adored things like that.

Logan sat in his chair, heart shattered, looking directly at Roman. Stupid books. Stupid facts. You don’t care. Break up. The words kept repeating in his head, over and over again like a mantra. Logan felt his hands begin to shake. 

“I thought you would know by now that I find solace in my books and my knowledge” Logan started, trying desperately to swallow past this lump in his throat that was only growing bigger. “I know that my… habits can be bothersome, but they’re what help me when I’m upset.” Logan freezes, his voice cracking on his last word. 

All heads snap towards Logan upon hearing the emotion in his voice. Logan is still looking directly at Roman, tears threatening to spill over in his eyes. Logan’s hands clench into fists on the tabletop, fingernails digging into his palms. He takes a deep breath. 

“And if you think for one second-” Logan rasps, tears finally flowing down his face, chin wobbling, “That I wouldn’t care if we broke up, then perhaps you don’t know me as well as you thought you did.” Logan finished, dissolving into hiccupping tears. He covers his hand with his mouth, looking away as tears flow over his hand.

Don’t leave. Don’t sink out. If you leave, you’ve lost.

Roman looks at his boyfriend, curled up around himself, muffling his cries, and Roman feels like the biggest jackass in the universe. What breaks his heart more than seeing Logan cry over him is seeing that, considering the way Logan is crying, this is not an uncommon occurrence for his boyfriend, having to seek comfort in himself. 

Patton and Virgil look on in shock, as this is the first time they have seen the side express any sadness. They sneak a look at Roman, who looks like he’d kick himself if he could. As the three sit there staring, Logan falls into his mind, assuming the worst is yet to come. Roman is going to break up with you now and it’s all your fault. Logan has accepted his fate as he decides to say one last thing before he can’t anymore.

“I love you, Roman. I know I do a shitty job at showing it, and I don’t know why you’d want to be with someone like me, but I love everything about you and I always will. If you’ll be happier without me, then that’s fine,” Logan says, face crumpling at the thought of being without Roman, “Because if you’re happy, that’s all that matters to me.” 

Roman sits there, tears in his eyes at the words that had just come out of Logan’s mouth. His Logan. His beautiful, sad, insecure Logan. In that moment, Roman knows he was stupid to ever doubt his beloved. 

Logan takes the silence as an answer and sobs, almost doubling over. His cheeks are flushed red with exertion and embarrassment at being so open in front of the others. Logan takes off his glasses, hoping it will be easier to hear the words if he doesn’t have to focus on the look of disdain on Roman’s face as he does so. He makes no note of how violently his hands are shaking. Patton’s heart is breaking at the scene in front of him, nudging Virgil and signaling that they should let the other two resolve this on their own. The two sunk out, praying that Roman and Logan can sort this out. 

“Logan, sweetheart-” Roman starts, unprepared for the sob that interrupted him. 

Sweetheart was always Logan’s favorite pet name. I’m going to miss hearing you call me that. Logan realizes he spoke out loud when he hears Roman reply.

“Why would you miss it? It isn’t going to stop, Logan.” Roman whispered, slowly approaching Logan, trying desperately to wrap his shaking boyfriend in his arms. 

“It’s not? You’re not breaking up with me?” Logan whimpers, and the pure confusion in his voice is what breaks Roman. 

“Baby, of course not.” Roman starts, tears gently rolling down his cheeks. “I adore you. I could never end what we have because of this.”

Silence. 

“Oh, thank God.” Logan cries, sobs doubling. He makes grabby hands for Roman, and if he wasn’t overcome with tears, Roman would think it was the cutest thing ever.

Logan clutches to the front of Roman’s shirt, sobbing into his shirt with abandon. Roman squeezes him arms around Logan’s shoulders and sinks them into his room. He snaps them into pajamas and then lays both of them on his giant king size bed. Logan is resting on top of Roman, his sobs quieting, but the tears still flowing. Roman tries desperately to soothe his boyfriend, but he is more than happy to sit underneath him and help him ride out the crying for as long as he needs to. Logan wraps himself around Roman as much as he can, fearing that if he lets up, even just a little, Roman will be ripped from his life. Roman grabs on just as tight, waiting until the tears stop. 

\--

“Baby, you’re still shaking.” Roman notes, about half an hour after the tears stopped. 

“I know. I’m sorry, I’m trying to stop.” Logan croaks, his voice still weak. “I was just so scared. I love you so much and I-” Logan stops, feeling Roman tighten his grip on Logan’s lower back. 

“Breathe.” Roman says. Logan takes a deep, shuddering breath and relaxes his body on top of Roman’s. “I love you, too, Logan. That will never change.” Roman insists.

“You promise?” Logan asks, and he sounds so childish and optimistic and insecure that Roman’s heart breaks all over again. Roman presses a kiss to the top of Logan’s head, hands running up and down his spine in a soothing manner. 

“I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> I live for angst. I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
